Memories of movies #2 - Under Siege 2: Dark Territory

Back in the days there were very few shops that sold VHS’ where I lived. One man had monopoly with three stores and kept the prices unreasonably high for years. Still, the curious movie adventurer I was I frequently visited them, mostly the one named Cudrio. Apart from the prices and the greedy owner I remember they had some alluring and frightening films. The cover I picked up the most was Society. Looking at the back of that cover always promised me a world of demented terror impossible to fathom, at that point in time at least. It took about a decade before that film would find its way to my horror shelf. Society is demented fun, with excellent practical effects from the highly uneven director Brian Yuzna. The ending has a rare “what-the-fuck” quality to it. Those who have seen it know what I’m talking about.

But that’s not really the film in question. I took my bicycle down to buy a couple of movies one day. The movies chosen were Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, rated 18, and cop/dog buddy action comedy Top Dog starring Chuck Norris, rated 15. I had just turned 12 at that time. My longing for action was temporarily crushed at the counter. Clearly this kid wasn’t of the right age. However, they gave me the opportunity to call my father at work to verify that this was indeed okay. Apparently they had had a couple of cases with angry moms not appreciating what their kids had purchased. I hadn’t really asked him before about that, but was he really going to say no? Of course he didn’t and with Under Siege 2 and Top Dog in my backpack I headed home. It has been years since Top Dog crossed my retinas, but from memory it was decent, if rather routine, cop and canine with attitudes fare. Under Siege 2 on the other hand was a different beast. The cover made it look really cool to a 12 year old.

The Norwegian cover for Under Siege 2. The literal translation from Norwegian reads; "Hijacking in High Velocity". I was always fascinated by the "Action Collection" covers. Somehow it made the whole thing seem cooler.

At that point I hadn’t seen the first Under Siege flick, but that didn’t matter. We had an action film rated 18 and that was plenty. The first one was purchased on a Danish VHS about three months later.

Anyway, the first time I saw Under Siege 2 I was blown away. It was a fast-paced, slick and brutal action film. Steven Seagal as chef and top trained elite soldier Casey Ryback was the epitome of cool. That isn’t the case(y) today. Another exciting element was the setting, a moving train. I’ve always had a fascination with movies set on a train and it started, strangely enough, here. It’s a small setting, but with lots of possibilities! Everett McGill as the leading mercenary, Marcus Penn, was a mighty villain too. You know someone is badass if they use pepper spray to freshen their mouth! He also delivers a line that has ever since lingered in the back of my mind; “Assumptions is the mother of all fuck-ups!” I really think he was on to something! Assumptions have time and again led to mistakes, so he deserves credit for alerting me about this fact at such an early age. Years later I discovered the very same quote was actually used the previous year in the Australian drag queen comedy Priscilla: The Queen of the Desert. It doesn’t really change anything though. There are plenty of other great quotes as well. After the mercenaries, dressed as railroad men, stop the train the conductor walks off the train and asks what‘s going on. “Someone’s been shot. Who? You!” BANG! That’s some quality writing right there!

Under Siege 2 also marks Steven Seagal’s last great film (there were some duds before this one too though). No, I’m not counting his minor role in Executive Decision the following year, in case you were wondering. This was the last of his streak of brutal early 90s films. They were very unapologetically violent. The ruthlessness displayed in these films (and plenty other from the first half of the 90s) still makes me raise an eyebrow today. The primary example is a scene in Out for Justice (1991) where a stone cold William Forsythe drags a woman halfway through her car window and executes her at point blank range for honking the car horn at him. There is one quote acknowledging this; “He’s killing people like it was free!” It’s not pretty there or in Under Siege 2, but you’ll feel infinitely rewarded as Seagal moves his eyebrows just a tad when killing them.

In later years I have discovered why this was better than it really had any right to be. First off, director Geoff Murphy is the man responsible for one of my favorite 80s sci-fi films, The Quiet Earth. He has also been second-unit director on all three Lord of the Rings films. Second, it was co-written by Matt Reeves today better known as the director of Cloverfield and Let Me In.

Many movies have a tendency to become disappointments as you grow older (don’t watch the original Narina series again!), but with Under Siege 2 that is not the case. It simply never ceases to entertain me. I think this sequel is on par with the first one even though that one had Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey and a topless Erika Eleniak coming out of a cake, a frequently replayed scene, going for it. Seagal’s career isn’t the greatest anymore, to say the least, but back then he actually made some stuff well worth watching. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory was my introduction to his filmography and is part of the reason I still have a soft spot for the man with the iron face. Well done Mr. Seagal. Well done.

8/10 in case you were wondering.

8MM (1999)

Hollywood takes on a dark subject matter…

Private investigator Tom Welles (Nicolas Cage) is hired to find out if a snuff film is authentic or not. This is the start of a long dark road.

A snuff film is defined as; “A motion picture genre that depicts the actual death or murder of a person or people, without the aid of special effects, for the express purpose of distribution and entertainment or financial exploitation.” The term “snuff film” was first used by Ed Sanders, who wrote that the Manson family was involved with making such a film to record their murders. Fictionalized snuff or pseudo-snuff began gaining notoriety with the 1976 flick Snuff. Since then this sub-genre has grown slow and steadily in volume with the Guinea Pig films and Cannibal Holocaust being the most infamous ones. More recently A Serbian Film (2010) has dealt with the subject matter Both Guinea Pig: Flower of Flesh and Blood and Cannibal Holocaust have had to prove that they were indeed pseudo-snuff and not the real deal. There are several examples of real people committing torture and murder while filming the act. German cannibal Armin Meiwes filmed the killing of his willing victim, but since this was never done with an intention of distributing for money such videos aren’t generally considered snuff films.

8MM is a bold movie in the light of being a big-budgeted Hollywood flick dealing with humanity at its most depraved. The script was apparently a lot darker, but writer Andrew Kevin Walker and director Joel Schumacher disagreed and Walker has subsequently disowned the film. I can’t help but wonder what the uglier version would have looked like.

Do you like what you see?

*Spoilers*

Cage works well as the private investigator. His descent into the abyss is easily one of the movies’ highlights. While initially looking at the case with a certain detached attitude it gradually gets under his skin. My favorite scene is when Welles decides he wants to give the men responsible a dose of vigilante justice and takes on Eddie Poole (James Gandolfini). Gandolfini makes little out of his role for the most part, but excels in their little showdown not showing an inch of remorse while uttering; 


“Go ahead. Pull the fucking trigger. Well go ahead. What're you waiting for? Go ahead, do it! You faggot! What do you want me to do, start crying like a little baby? "Oh, I'm so sorry I killed the little girl." Well, fuck you, and fuck her! Go ahead! Put me outta my fucking misery! Pull the fucking trigger! Pull the fucking trigger! Do it! Do it!” Cage communicates a whole range of emotions while Poole rambles on. He wants him to suffer, but is afraid to go to that dark place. As Nietzsche has put it; “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.” To push him over he calls the victims’ mother and asks for a boost; “I want to hurt them. I want to punish them for what they did. Please give me your permission to punish them!” This could easily have come off as dumb or corny, but the scene is plays out as an emotional rollercoaster. Give in to temptation. What do you do when you encounter humans devoid of empathy? Do you want him to punish them? Another stand-out in the movie is Joaquin Phoenix as the porn shop clerk Max California that Welles hires to guide him in the underground video market. Otherwise Peter Stormare is a perfect fit as the extreme film director Dino Velvet. According to Max he’s “the Jim Jarmusch of S & M”, which is a small but welcome joke in this otherwise doom laden universe.


One thing I wondered about when Welles and California are scouring the underground market looking for snuff is how is the extreme film market today? Specifically is there still and to what extent a market for extreme movies dealing in physical copies? Internet has made everything more available so has it affected this market? We can watch videos of people being tortured and executed on the internet at any time. All the death and suffering is there for those seeking it, but is it enough? The answer always seems to be no.


One of the driving questions for Welles is the why. Why would anyone want to have someone make something like this? One answers his question with the chilling words; “Because he could.” That is a part of what makes 8MM so interesting. You wonder what the motivation is just like Welles. Tom’s surprised face as he finally unmasks Machine and realizes it is actually a human being behind it is a small revelation. In the end we can never get a satisfactory answer yet we strive for an understanding. It is all the more chilling when Machine doesn’t give a good reason either. In fact he makes a point that his life hasn’t been a troublesome one. There is no history of sexual abuse or other elements to shed light on it. Life isn’t black and white. Life isn’t a Disney film.


*End spoilers*


8MM works well on several levels. It works as a thriller, but more interestingly to me, it's a movie about movies and not just any kind. It puts a seedy light on the more abysmal genres of movies little or completely unknown to most people. While doing so it confronts you with your own views on violence without feeling condescending. It's an element through the movie lingering in the back of your head. I have followed that line of thoughts many times before. Why do I watch movies that feature such cruel and heinous acts? Why do you? Why not?


Joel Schumacher has crafted a solid thriller with 8MM. It gives viewers unfamiliar with snuff film and extreme cinema a safe and sanitized look into the darker side of movies, while posing intelligent questions. Dark mainstream entertainment can indeed be good.


8/10

Machine-Gun Kelly (1958)

 

Bronson the gangster…

Charles Bronson stars in his first leading role as the notorious gangster George R. “Machine-Gun” Kelly. He, along with female companion Florence ‘Flo’ Becker (Susan Cabot) and a gang of criminals are making life sour for bank owners. After a robbery goes wrong Kelly takes out the rest of the gang conspiring to kill him for fouling up. His next move with Flo is to kidnap the daughter of a wealthy businessman for ransom.

Bronson is surprisingly charismatic and loose in this film. His stoic nature more apparent in later films takes a backseat here and he shows remarkable capability. It’s also fun watching him in a rare role as a villain that even manages to generate sympathy, at times anyway. I’ve never seen Bronson laugh as heartily before either. There is a duality to his character. On one hand he’s like a small child terribly afraid of death. Being a bank robber isn’t the wisest of career choices then, but life isn’t predictable. On the other hand he can be a cold and calculating killing-machine. Much of this is due to Flo’s ability to manipulate him. Behind every strong man there is an even stronger woman. Her role becomes progressively more interesting as the film develops. I love watching her going from slyly sexy to a cold and calculating bitch. While there is a serious tone underlying humor frequently sneaks in punctuating that it’s just a film. Most of the laughs are provided by comedian Morey Amsterdam, which clearly isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. He is also involved in one of the most unexpected highlights in the movie.

A classier sort of gangster.

Director and b-movie maestro Roger Corman shot the entire film in merely eight days. I expected it to look a lot rougher, but everything is filmed with an on-the-run sensibility. Machine-Gun Kelly probably gained from this. Both the characters in the movie and the people making it are in a hurry, but still take time to evaluate what has to be done. With such a rigid shooting schedule and budget there is little room to elaborate on anything. A bank robbery is filmed from the outside leaving a shadowy figure holding his hands up and a bullet through the door as illustrations of what’s going on. It’s a necessary minimalistic approach, but it works. I still wish we could have seen more scenes cementing Machine-Gun Kelly’s name though. Fortunately Bronson was just warming up and has since addressed this issue with a hailstorm of bullets.

Machine-Gun Kelly isn’t a miracle of movie making, but in its rather simple script there are some interesting themes both explored and left for the imagination. If you like either Charles Bronson, b-movies with gangsters, Roger Corman or a combination of them then Machine-Gun Kelly is worthwhile.

6/10 

Death Wish 3 (1985)

His name is Paul Kersey…

Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) returns to New York to visit his old friend Charley. His old town has again become a cesspool of sin. Detective Richard Shriker (Ed Lauter), tired of all the crime, forces Kersey to pick up old habits. He does just that, once again making the few people he cares about possible targets for the scum of the streets. Mayhem ensues.

The first Death Wish established the formula for the series; a man frustrated by the inactions of the law becomes a self-appointed avenger. Death Wish II elaborates in a more exploitative manner and remains the most nihilistic one. The only question here is how will Bronson dispense with the criminals this time around? Death Wish 3 is a more easygoing entry in the Kersey saga. It’s still brutal and packs the highest body count with 48, but shows some restraint for instance in a rape scene, that unlike the previous one is mercifully short here. This is Michael Winner’s third and final Death Wish film before leaving the reigns to veteran director J. Lee Thompson. Winner succeeds again in painting an urban dystopia of America gone wrong. The apartment complex where Charley resided shows good and honest people living in fear of the chaos in the streets. History is as usual repeating itself. But out of these worn-down streets rises a phoenix in the form of Paul Kersey. He is the vigilante angel of death. He is the savior of all that’s good, or at least it appears that way. There are some disturbing lines along the way, like when he says: “It’s like killing roaches – you have to kill ‘em all, otherwise what’s the use?” Kersey needs tools for this job and sends for his old friend Wildey .475 Magnum, a gun that surely would have given Harry Callahan potency problems. Apparently the sale of this gun increases every time Death Wish 3 is shown on cable in the States.

The villains in the movie, led by the menacing Fraker, all feel like caricatures. They are so over-the-top it’s virtually impossible to see them as human beings. That also makes it a lot easier to enjoy watching them die. And that is the big payoff. Bronson has some terrific scenes with the scum. As two crooks are messing up his car he calmly walks outside and asks them what they are doing. Unwilling to comply he kills them both before walking calmly back inside. He just sent Fraker a message. A bullet is all they understand. Things escalate and eventually Kersey declares New York a free-firing-zone, running around with a Browning 30. caliber machine-gun and an assistant feeding him ammunition. This again inspires the good and honest people to pick up their guns. The uprising has begun! Death Wish 3 really takes off towards the end. It’s a non-stop killathon dispensing everyone in the way. Detective Shriker even joins in and he and Bronson jogs up the street together only occasionally taking time to stop when killing. Eventually he finds the opportunity to use a rocket launcher as well. It’s all done in gloriously excessive 80s style. Thanks Ronald Reagan!

Bronson declares war on crime

Interestingly Death Wish 3 was released the year after Bernard Goetz shot a severely wounded four muggers on the New York subway. He was subsequently named “The Subway Vigilante”. The views on him were divided. Charles Bronson even went on to state publicly that people shouldn’t imitate Paul Kersey’s actions in the light of this.

Death Wish 3 is a gung-ho bullet storm of killing for those that like their action films violent. Winner directs this bad boy with brawn, though perhaps less brain this time. Bronson’s stoic nature wins me over every time and he brings a strange sort of minimalistic humanism to the whole affair. You like action? You need Death Wish 3!

9/10

A Serbian Film (2010)

You can add Norway to that list.

A nightmarish journey to the bowels of hell…

In May 2011 A Serbian Film was released in Norwegian stores. Having read about all the controversy I was naturally curious. After getting a confirmation from the distributor that it was uncut I picked it up fearing it would be pulled from stores. Norway bans A Serbian Film two short months later, making it the first one since Ichi the Killer in 2008. There were two paragraphs coming into play in this decision, first being sexual abuse and portrayals that sexualize children. The other paragraph concerns distribution of films with extreme violence made for entertainment purposes. So how gruesome is A Serbian Film and is it really worth banning?

A Serbian Film tells the story of porn actor Milos. He’s tired of the business and one day sees the opportunity to retire for good when he’s offered the lead in a new film. Milos accepts the deal unknowing about just what kind of a project he’s signed onto. The nightmare begins.

We’re given time to get familiar with Milos, his wife and son. They live a decent life. Early on their young son is caught watching one of dad’s porn films. As he goes to bed the kid remarks about a funny feeling he got downstairs when watching the film. Milos and his wife smile at their young innocent offspring. Both this scene and one later on portray child sexuality with skill and care. It is a part of them without knowing fully what it is yet. Building relationships also serves well for what is to follow.

On a technical level A Serbian Film is a surprisingly well-made film. The cinematography is professional, the lighting excellent and editing sensitive. The score works well with gentle piano tracks for the more quiet moments, while a brutal bass is ready to pound you on other occasions. That works particularly well over the ending credits when you feel exhausted and slightly violated.

Simple, but effective. Love that mise-en-scène.

The movie spends time building up and lets you believe Milos’ LSD infused journey into madness. There are a few potholes along the way you might question though. The prime example being when Milos is confronted with footage from something his mad director Vukmir has shot. It is the rape of a new born, or “new-born-porn” as Vukmir enthusiastically hails it. Milos’ eyes begin to wander away from the screen and so do mine at this point. You would think this would be Milos’ exit from the project, but that is not the case. Vukmir considers this horrific child abuse to be art that people just don’t understand, not yet anyway. According to Oxford dictionary art is; “the expression of human creative talent, especially in a visual form.” That is a quite broad definition and I highly doubt any normal sane person would agree that what Vukmir is doing is art. But that is a film within the film. A Serbian Film poses the question; what is art? Can a film that includes rape, incest, necrophilia and murder be art? I would certainly say yes. There is much beauty in A Serbian Film even if it can be in some rather dark corners. It reminds me of Cronenberg commenting on the beauty of a tumor. It is a living organism just trying to evolve. The tumor is a destructive force on the host, but has a beauty in its own right. One might disagree, but “art” and “beauty” are both ideas and challenging them, like in A Serbian Film is certainly meaningful and relevant in my humble opinion.

In regards to Norway’s reasoning for banning it, what we see involving child abuse, with the exception of footage of a young girl eating a lollipop, nothing here is portrayed in a manner to entice. And even that scene feels more like comment on the subject matter with some very dark humorous undertones. With that said, I certainly wouldn’t let a child of mine act in this movie. When it comes to A Serbian Film showing what they consider “extreme violence for entertainment purposes” I really have to disagree. Extreme violence as entertainment can readily be seen in modern movies like Saw and Hostel. Why is Hostel okay? Is Hostel okay if we say it’s a movie that plays on people’s xenophobia? A Serbian Film is actually a lot less interested in showing us brutality like these films. It shows restraint, believe it or not. Yes, it doesn’t shy away either, but it’s not as gratuitous as you might expect.

Becoming the beast.

A Serbian film is an unpleasant film as it should be. Dismissing it as cheap, exploitative trash is way too easy. It goes a long way to offend you, but does so in intelligent fashion. For those depraved enough there is the blackest kind of humor here, perhaps most evident at the very end. There is no escape, not even death. Banning it has only made it more sought after here in Norway and I encourage curious people to seek it out at their own risk. We are all responsible for making a better world. A Serbian Film only makes me want to try harder. In that light it certainly has value.

8.5/10

Untraceable (2008)

Untraceable you say?

A serial killer shows his victims live on internet. Their demise is directly linked to the number of viewers. The more people that watch, the faster they die. FBI agent Jennifer Marsh (Diane Lane), along with agent Dowd (Colin Hanks) is put to the task of tracking the killer down. Help is also enlisted by detective Eric Box (Billy Burke). That is essentially the story. Jennifer has some emotional baggage as well, but the story doesn’t seem concerned with exploring this. What fragments there are, aren’t really particularly interesting, so it may be a good thing. Still, it makes me wonder why they would even bother with it in the first place.

Diane Lane doesn’t exactly shine in the lead, but she’s limited by an underdeveloped script. For the most part Jennifer smiles bravely, when not looking shocked or sad. Colin Hanks is easily the most likeable character, while Billy Burke looks like a cardboard box. The killer himself is given too little development to make any impact. To the writers credits the killer manages to generate some sympathy with the viewer. That rare glimpse of intelligence is however firmly crushed and put to death during the course of the movie.

Psychopaths have all the fun, but at least this killer let's you watch. 

Untraceable is a competently made film. The technical aspects are perfectly fine without being anything special, apart from a couple of inspired moments. The real problem is the script. There are too many plot holes and dull scenes. You are never surprised during the movie apart from perhaps Jennifer’s stupidity when hunting the serial killer. You’re an FBI agent, so act like one! Most of the elements in the movie work okay, so it’s a pity the script drags everything down.

In all fairness I think Untraceable raises a valid point in terms of media and particularly internet cynicism. It doesn’t feel real, but there are real people behind the tragedies we witness. Trying to make it more realistic Lane at one point mentions the now infamous videos of soldiers being beheaded. Will anyone who reads this look for those videos afterwards? Have you perhaps already seen it or some other clip of a person dying? It’s quite remarkable how much cruelties we witness through the news, internet and so on growing up. Unfortunately they seem hell bent on making you realize this and so, much like watching a Paul Haggis film, the message becomes smeared all over your face. I like movies that don’t underestimate its audience. Movies that allow you to discover and contemplate things for yourself are indeed more rewarding. Less can definitely be more!

I will give Untraceable kudos for not spending a lot of time rounding off the movie. We know what the end is and what happens to Jennifer, her family and all others involved after isn’t interesting. Just like Die Hard!

In the end Untraceable is forgettable thriller. It’s passable entertainment, but don’t you want more from your movies?

4/10

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

The Doctor will see you now…

Scientist Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser aka Mantrid from Lexx) has a dream of creating a human centipede. Why would anyone want to do such a thing you might ask? Well, people have different interests and some are more eccentric than others. You could of course just label him a madman. It will make everything go down easier.

The movie opens with Heiter finding a suitable victim for his experiments at a rest stop. The hunter is patiently waiting for a prey. He’s a creepy looking man, much thanks to a strong face and truly villainous, borderline non-human eyes. A long coat, a dart gun and a car with a decent seized trunk can get you a long way when you’re a mad scientist, at least in terms of acquiring victims. The good doctor has plenty of luck on his side. One strange evening a couple of ladies lost in their search for a party show up at his front door. If there ever was an incentive to learn how to change tires this is the movie. It’s welcome that one of the ladies comments the lack of cell phone reception. “There is always reception!” Cell phones have become an element that always plays into consideration when psycho’s or the threat of psychopaths is imminent in horror films set after the 90s. The two girls, Lindsay and Jenny soon realize that their host isn’t quite right and unsuccessfully tries to escape. One of them gives it another go later on in a painfully slow cat and mouse game. It plays out remarkably well and has a tone and look similar to the scene following the dog chase in Tenebre.

A part of what builds up around the whole atmosphere of unease is the look of the movie. It’s given a cold and sterile, bluish look. Everything feels very clinical. Heiter’s house is like a small fortress sparse on everything. Dieter Laser impresses as the doctor. You can see Heiter’s detached attitude to humans in his eyes. It’s really quite terrifying. He feels like a poster boy for Nazi scientists. The doctor would probably be more at home during WWII when medical ethics was a non-issue. It would have been perfect for his experiment.

One of the more terrifying scenes in The Human Centipede.

Then there is the actual human centipede of the movie. As it progressed it started dawning on me just how twisted this idea is merely in theory. But this isn’t about theories and director Tom Six in content to show you more than you’ll need to see. The most affectionate gore hounds might be disappointed, but what restraint is shown only works to The Human Centipede’s advantage. The simple drawings Heiter shows when explaining the procedure to his victims works remarkably well. Initially I thought the movie would end with the completion of the human centipede, but this only marks around the 50 minute mark. For the last 40 minutes we follow the doctor, his human centipede and its/their effort to escape. The small cage designed for the human centipede made me squirm. If it isn’t bad enough that you have been surgically sown together with two other people you are confined to a small space at night as well. Add to that the humiliation of being in this state and you’ve got yourself an incredibly unpleasant and highly distressing situation. The thought of it really does make me uncomfortable, which is a good thing.

Science used for nefarious purposes.

Twisted as The Human Centipede is there is actually a very dark sense of humor in it. Yes, it’s gross and filled with what-the-fuck moments, but I also found myself laughing quietly at how absurd it is. It wouldn’t surprise me if Six’s sense of humor stems from Jörg Buttgereit’s Nekromantik. At least here the center of affection is alive though.        

                                                                                     

The Human Centipede is a challenging horror flick. It’s unpleasant to watch and is able to do that without going overboard graphically. I was always curious what would happen around the next corner. Could there possibly be anything near a happy ending? It is a horror that will benefit from multiple viewings. Tom Six has created a perverse little picture well worth seeing.

The sequel The Human Centipede (Full Sequence) has recently been banned in its entirety in the UK. I’m quite anxious to see how Six is going to top the first one, but since Buttgereit managed it with Nekromantik 2, anything’s possible. A third film has been confirmed so it looks like this is a concept that will be explored in more graphic detail in the future. The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is worth checking out for fans of alternate cinema.

8.5/10  

Hitch Hike to Hell (1977)

Take the bus instead…

Loving son and truck driver for a local commercial laundry, Howard Martin (, likes to pick up hitch hikers. It’s a noble thing to do, except for when the hitchhiker’s are running away from home. Howard will kill you for it!

Howard Martin is played by Robert Gribbin better known for his menacing role in Don’t Go Near the Park under the pseudonym Crackers Phinn. Why he wasn’t comfortable having his real name on that film remains a mystery, since Hitch Hike to Hell is just about as exploitative, though slightly less graphic. Martin’s problem with runaways stem from a very close relationship to his mother. That’s right; we have another psycho with severe mommy issues! At this point I’m beginning to wonder if this is the leading cause of serial killers. He is a simple and quiet soul except for his occasional murders. There is no reason to suspect a man like that! That was also the case with Ed Gein, but he turned out to have some rather nasty habits. Hitch Hike to Hell was also made in a time where there were several cases with real serial killers roaming the States. Both the Zodiac Killer and the Skid Row Slasher are briefly mentioned by the detectives trying to ground the film more in reality. It’s in bad taste, but works.

Say, may I offer you a ride in my van?

Now Hitch Hike to Hell is competently made for a 70s exploitation, even if it does add little to the serial killer genre. It all feels distinctly underdeveloped. Howard becomes less and less involved with his job as the murderous tendencies come more and more into play. Has he just started murdering when we enter the film or has it been going on for a longer period of time? I feel Hitch Hike to Hell would have benefited if we were given a catalyst for his behavior. His mother is a definite part, but what caused that final leap over to the dark side? It’s probably a bit too much to ask for in a low-budget 70s exploitation though.

There are a lot of good elements in Hitch Hike to Hell that unfortunately don’t add up to much in the end. I’m always weak when it comes to gritty 70s flicks, even if this one is quite mild and less exploitative than it should have been. Serial killers are always an interesting theme, so it’s too bad the execution wasn’t better. Still, you could do a lot worse.

5/10

Kidnapped Coed (1976)

Back in the 70s when people made movies…

Kidnapped Coed also known as Date with a Kidnapper and The Kidnap Lover marks Frederick R. Friedel’s second film in a grand total of three. Along for the ride he has actor Jack Canon, musicians George Newman Shaw and John Willhelm and cinematographer Austin McKinney. All were participants in Friedel’s debut Lisa, Lisa, better known as Axe for marketing purposes. The Kidnapped Coed title, coined by notorious distributor Harry Novak, is likely an attempt to cash in on the Edmund Kemper case, better known as “The Co-ed Killer” a few years earlier.

Eddie Matlock (Canon), a small time criminal, kidnaps young Sandra Morley (Leslie Rivers) for ransom. This marks the beginning of a strange journey through North Carolina.

Kidnapped Coed feels like a string of almost random scenes that all add up as a whole. Eddie and Sandra encounter two other bad guys at a hotel, which she initially thinks will save her, but instead rape her. Eddie saves her and their journey continues to the next location. One particularly strange and quite humorous scene is when a group of female birdwatchers walk around close to their new hideout. It helps in terms of developing the tone of the story, because while it starts off rather tensely it becomes lighter and lighter during its course. Canon makes a great leading guy that at first glance seems like a cold and calculating criminal, but as the story progresses he comes off as slightly tragic and even sympathetic. The dialogue is sparse, but it says just enough to make an impact. This is also a movie where silences speak volumes. Eddie and Sandra’s evolving relationship feels credible and makes you wonder how it all will end. The ending is quite abrupt, but according to Friedel himself he chose a voiceover ending since there wasn’t any money left for further shots. An unhappy ending was filmed at first, but dropped to keep the in synch with the tone of the film.

Friedel has made the little exploitation film that could with Kidnapped Coed. He is given ample support from the two leads that raise it above its simple roots. The music works well and is an important ingredient when it comes to developing the feel of the film. It certainly left me smiling and didn’t shy away from experimenting. Cinematographer McKinney provides inspired shots that are frequently more beautiful than you would expect from such a film. He went on to shoot Galaxy of Terror (1981) and Jaws 3-D (1983) among other and was apparently even assistant director on Coleman Francis legendary The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961). Friedel readily admits that much of the movie wasn’t planned exactly like it turned out, but this seems only to have benefitted Kidnapped Coed. It also explains the episodic nature of it. Kidnapped Coed wasn’t a big success upon release, but remains an oddity very much worth checking out. If Terrence Malick had made an exploitation film out of Badlands (1973) with a lower budget I imagine it could have looked something like this.

7.5/10

Death Wish II (1982)

Bronson’s loose again!

Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) has found relative peace in Los Angeles after the chaos caused with his hands-on approach to justice in New York two years earlier. His daughter is still suffering trauma from this, but he does his best to show her the better sides of life. Kersey has also found a love interest in the shape of Geri (Bronson’s real wife Jill Ireland). The storm appears to have calmed down. Unfortunately, Paul soon realizes that he is actually in the center of it.

While Death Wish showed us Paul’s gradual descent, or would that be ascent, to vigilante Death Wish II doesn’t need that. Kersey killed 9 scumbags on the streets of New York. All we need this time is motivation to make him pick up former hobbies. A gang of criminals featuring a young Laurence Fishburne provides him with said motivation. Paul’s maid is gang raped and eventually killed in particularly long and unpleasant scene. He is knocked out, his darling daughter kidnapped and subsequently not treated in the gentlest of ways. I consider myself rather hardened, but director Michael Winner still managed to push Death Wish II to uncomfortable limits. That is also why it has frequently been censored. Vigilante justice will be screaming in your ears after the first half hour. This second film is much more exploitative than the first one, dwelling much more on the sexual and violent aspects.

Raping Kersey's maid was a big mistake, but the worst is yet to come. 

Paul takes a short break after these tragic events before finding his gun and getting ready for payback. After acquiring a suitable vigilante outfit for scouring the streets the lone gunman starts his mission for justice/revenge. Watching Bronson prowling the streets is easily one of the movies’ highlights. Various great locations create a dark urban dystopia along with fitting 80s music by Jimmy Page.

Already in the opening credits a radio station broadcasts about how much the murder rate has gone up along with rape and other crimes. With an abundance of homicides it seems strange that the detectives come to the conclusion that a vigilante is on the loose, but hey, they could just be really smart guys. This leads them ask how the whole vigilante problem was taken care of in New York. Paul Kersey’s name comes up once again. Since they essentially sanctioned vigilante justice back there by letting him go, they aren’t that interested in Kersey being taken in and potentially letting out a political bomb while making him out as a martyr in the process. Kersey won’t be stopped though! Kersey is given leeway around most corners. A couple he saves from a gang of hoodlums is less than cooperative when the police ask them for a description. Most of the law abiding citizens appear to be pro-vigilantism. I cheer on Bronson as well, as will you.

There is something very satisfying with seeing scumbags meet their demise, especially when it comes in the shape of Charles Bronson. Death Wish II is at times highly unpleasant to watch building anticipation for the consequences. And there are indeed consequences for wrongdoings here! Michael Winner has created an urban hell that makes for a fascinating watch. Bronson provides us with a believable character with warmth and yet conveys stoicism aplenty. If you like brutal revenge movies then Death Wish II is for you.

8/10

Gutterballs (2008)

Strike!


I like movies that show exactly what they're like within the opening minutes. Gutterballs provides us with a beaver shot so candid that you in all likeliness will tilt your head and go; Hmm. This is the kind of film that goes that extra mile, something that undoubtedly will offend any regular and possibly the more hardened viewer.

A woman is raped in a bowling alley and the following evening people start dying at that very same bowling alley. Could this be a coincidence? Divine forces at large? Terrorists? Whoever or whatever the case may be the story is simple enough, so leave any intellectual expectations at the door or in the gutter.

Gutterballs scores a few points for style. It plays like an homage to the great heydays of 80s slashers. Even the costumes have a modern retro look that fits in nicely. It's cheesy, yet cool. Entertaining and at times squirm inducing sound effects too.

I've noticed a few complaints about the acting in this film, despite that no one would expect Oscar worthy performances in such a film. Yes, there are some notably weak performances, but I would like to defend the actors here. They are so incredibly over-the-top, just like they should be when spoofing such stereotypes, that you never accept them as real human beings. This is a good thing. They exist solely within the reality of this movie. I like the characters in the sense that they aren't played as anyone with any depth. Steve is a maniacal brute so up-tight that you expect him to explode at any given moment. He NEVER does a single thing that makes you reassess your hatred of him. You want him to die and that is the point. The sluts are slutty and everybody just wants to get their groove on. Now the dialogue is about as sharply written as you would expect. It constantly uses  fuck and its variations, cunt and mostly ferociously crude insults. You're likely to become tired of it (I was relieved whenever someone DIDN'T swear), but even so the excessive use of profanities becomes quite funny after a while. I would like to see a cartoon version of this. And I don't think this would have worked with the characters saying: "Would you be a darling and get me a beer?" It's not that kind of a film.

Then there is the great, talking, bowling ball polish machine. I really, really liked this machine and I wish it had more screen time. None of the bowlers contemplates its rude remarks, nor should they. I can't say I understand its purpose, but it adds to the surreal feeling that anything goes in this movie. If elves suddenly appeared and started dancing and singing I would be cool with that as well. Bring it on! As the notable rape scene commenced I initially thought it had a certain camp aspect to it. However, as it continued and the rest of Steve's gang joins in, with vicious brutality, this becomes one of the most unpleasant rapes you're ever likely to see in a movie, deserving a place alongside Meir Zarchi's I Spit on Your Grave and Irreversible. My friends squirmed and complained that it was pointless and overly long. Well, it drives the point home AND it makes you long for them to die in the most brutal manners possible. Mission accomplished.

Then there is the gore. The glorious gore! This is where Gutterballs really excels. It delivers buckets of blood. There is a scene of graphic genital mutilation that I'm sure will make anyone being sickened by the one in Hostel: Part II run for their lives. It doesn't look pretty! Shotgun blast to the throat, forced entry with sharpened bowling pin, strangulation, a slit throat, faced ripped to pieces plus other enjoyable deaths. We even get a death by phallus in a manner I'm not sure has been done since Joe D'Amato's Porno Holocaust. That takes balls (sorry, couldn't resist)! The unveiling of the killer ends in a climax so bloody I couldn't help but wonder if all the plastic sheets covering the room were there just so it would be easy for the crew to clean up after filming was done? Tell me I'm wrong. Not that it matters really.

Delivering the goods. Gory mayhem for the win.

No sane person would ever call Gutterballs a great film in any traditional sense. It's a simple story that slasher fans have seen time and again. And that's what we want! Add to that a director who obviously loves these films and brings with him a few new ideas to play around with and you are in for a bloody good time! It works within the confinements of the sub genre. Like previously mentioned, Gutterballs is not a film for the average film viewer. It isn't even a film for most horror fans. It's relentlessly brutal and never apologizes for it. Fortunately! But for those venturing in low-budget extreme cinema this is pure gold. I'm glad that there are people out there who still make films for this audience. It makes me feel spoiled and I love it!


8/10

Memories of movies #1 - Braindead

When I was a kid my parents were more strict than some of the other parents regarding what I could and could not see. It's interesting this tug-of-war. I respected, for the most part, my parents decisions when they said no, but circumvented this frequently by not asking them. If they hadn't been given the opportunity to say no, I couldn't really be blamed now, could I? One of my best friends had more liberal parents (well, several really, but one in particular). So, after having seen that crazy cover for Braindead at one of the local rental shops I immediately knew that this was something I had to see.

The Swedish VHS cover for Braindead. It's virtually identical to the Norwegian one.

I brought this to my friends attention on several occasions after this. He had no qualms about acquiring this one. His mother loved horror and his stepfather at the time was really cool. He even rented Showgirls for us at one time, but that's a different story. Anyway, we ended up renting Braindead for his tenth birthday. The rest of us we're still 9 years old at the time, so the year must have been 1994. As I realized he had actually rented the film and that we were going to watch it I hesitated for a moment. This looked really extreme and was a far cry from my usual movie diet. I was even hesitant when another friend one or two years earlier wanted to rent Batman Returns, which I loved from the very first moment. Braindead seemed to be in a whole other ball park though. A part of me considered the possibility that this film would cause me to throw up and so I kept an empty glass by my side, just in case. It still seems odd to me that I resonated like that at age 9. The VHS was put on and the very graphic opening gave us all a taste of what was in store for the next 90 minutes plus. My friend had a German Shepard and Westland High Terrier. Both of them were female and during the course of Braindead they tried humping each other in front of the screen several times. It didn't work very well, though they seemed happy. At one point anther one of my friends put some chips on my knee, which the German Shepard promptly ate. I felt the teeth gently meeting my leg as she took them. My friend was laughing. I wasn't at the time. As for the glass it was soon put down and we all laughed and had a great time from beginning to end. We were shocked and thrilled. It was an instant hit for us. Watching Braindead that day also became one of my first meetings with horror and the more extreme films that are out there. Several years went by after that before my obsession with horror and alternative film blossomed, but Braindead was a cornerstone.

Since that day I've seen Braindead about once a year making it somewhere between 16 and 20 times. I never grow tired of this film. It has an abundance of gore that hasn't been equaled before or since, though some have tried, most notably Olaf Ittenbach's Premutos - Der gefallene Engel. It is also an utterly hilarious movie and very well made. I keep showing this movie to the uninitiated and baptized at three more people last year into the awesomeness that is Braindead. If you still haven't seen it and enjoy a truly over-the-top film this is your film. Peter Jackson is most likely to be remembered by most for The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but to me he will alway be the crazy genius that made Braindead and Bad Taste.