Violent Shit 3 - Infantry of Doom (1999)

Random…

I’ll start by addressing the title. This movie is called Violent Shit 3 – Infantry of Doom! That means this isn’t the first, nor second, but the third movie made named Violent Shit. I haven’t seen the previous installments in the series, but that is obviously an offer I will be unable to resist somewhere in time. I sincerely mean that. It’s refreshing with a movie boasting a title as honest as this one. No one will be surprised by the content in a movie named Violent Shit 3. People want violent shit and so director Andreas Schnaas delivers that as best as he can. There is also the alternate title Zombie Doom, which really isn’t fitting, but we’ll get back to that.

Ron, Mark and Peter are forced to abandon their boat. “Your nephew will pay for this! Get the life boat ready. Goddamn motor quit! Fuck the motor and fuck my nephew. He should die!” Yes, those are actual lines. Soon they find themselves stranded on an island that happens to be inhabited by Karl the Butcher and his army of tin masked assholes. Violent mayhem ensues.

Karl the Butcher also known as The Meister and his father are badass. They enjoy torturing and killing (who doesn’t?). You know you’re dealing with a bad man when he simply needs to say: “Annihilate this asshole!” and someone dies. To help make this more efficient he has help from a mad Hitler looking doctor. He is quite enthusiastic about his work and seems to be the one Schnaas relies on for comic relief. Just watch him after Karl has executed more enemies. Dr. Senius happily runs off with a decapitated head in each hand. Life sure is great for a mad scientist working for Karl the Butcher! It works as well as it could.

One of Violent Shit 3’s strong points is the dialogue. It’s so horrendously terrible that you will laugh from start to finish. Favorite lines: “This is piss! Shit!” The simplicity here is so profound it borderlines brilliance. Or there is when a surprisingly optimistic Mark says: “Maybe we’ll find some hot Amazon babes.” Don’t bet your life on it Mark! This is from the English dubbing. I have no idea how it sounds in its native German, but it can’t possibly be as great.

Now what would Violent Shit 3 be without gore? A five minute short is probably not far off. It delivers in buckets and spades. Most of the stuff looks quite fake, but it’s done with a level of enthusiasm that won me over. There is a scene of teeth violence that looked decent and pulling out someone’s spine from the rectum and up is always rewarding to watch. There are geysers upon geysers of blood and an amount of decapitations that can only be described as phenomenal. Have you seen a quadruple guillotine before? Heads and bodies are split in half and eyes are gouged out. Are you starting to get the idea? This is indeed violent shit. It’s technically less competent than most others and lacks the ability to shock and offend and yet it all feels so rewarding.

Most of the stuff that happens in Violent Shit 3 feels very random. There are random ninjas. They are cool. Any movie featuring ninjas isn’t completely without merit. We also have random zombies, which as far as I could understand were concoctions of Dr. Senius. There is nothing that suggests that this is a zombie doom though. They’re as much a victim of the script writing as anyone and anything else. The strange thing is that Schnaas’ script several times almost feels like something out of a Hitchcock film. I write that with the lightest of words. While the script isn’t exactly loaded with surprises the focus shift on characters is interesting. As it plays out you realize that Schnaas is willing to sacrifice anyone. This gives the movie a sense of uncertainty and makes it hard to root for anyone. Not a bad choice.

I showed this film to friend a while back. As I pressed play he asked me if the movie had started. He clearly wasn’t expecting this level of movie making. Shot on video it looks like crap, which of course most normal people would claim it is. The visual look is about as stripped down as they come. It’s overexposed regularly and when it’s not the colors are drained and lifeless. There are a few scenes where a filter is applied, but it won’t impress anyone. Perhaps it would have been wise to use it all the way through since it gives the film an even less polished look. I felt slightly wrong watching this film on DVD. It should have been a VHS or even better a bootleg VHS. It’s unlikely that this film will ever come out on blu-ray and to do so would be like spitting in its face before mauling it into tiny pieces. Schnaas still does a daring attempt at split-screen at one point that seems quite random considering the rest. It’s a pretty hilarious scene though.  

A question that keeps popping up in my head from time to time, when I venture into the realm of alternate cinema is: How many people are watching this movie today? I know we are closing in on 7 billion people here on Earth, but I remain skeptical that there are others on that particular day thinking Violent Shit 3 will be the best choice for entertainment. And just how many days, if any, have gone since this film was released that no one watched it? I’m just wondering.

We live in an incredible world. There are people here going out in space. Others devote their time trying to cure cancer. Then there is Andreas Schnaas. A man happy just to make the most violent film he can. I’m glad he does.

8/10