Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

 

  

B-movie delight!

A nuclear holocaust nearly wipes out mankind in the near future. Out of the chaos giant mutant frogs evolve and the remaining humans decides to wage war on them as well. However, most men and women are left infertile. Mankind’s best hope is to impregnate as many women as possible. Enter Sam Hell (love that name!). He is an unusually fertile man and is enlisted by the US Government, what’s left anyway, to save and impregnate a group of women held captive in Frogtown. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it!

Well, that sounds like a winning recipe in my book! Now, I wonder how many porn films that have had this basic storyline as a starting point? Surely, there has to be several! Perhaps they would make a nice double-bill with this one? It opens in a Mad Max II-esque style and we’re treated to a cool opening montage promising us tough men, hot women and guns. I was certainly hooked from the get-go. It holds back (probably due to budget), but manages to whet your appetite. You want to see how this one plays out!

Our reluctant hero Sam Hell is played by wrestling star Roddy Piper, who later that very same year starred in John Carpenter’s excellent They Live. Piper works incredibly well in the movie and has an instantly likable quality to him. He’s initially only interested in himself and boasts a wonderfully entertaining ego to go with that. As the movie progresses Hell evolves. That doesn’t mean he’s unable to spout cheesy lines line at any given moment. My favorite from him is probably when he comes blazing in, one shotgun in each hand to deliver the immortal lines: “Eat lead, froggies!” If that doesn’t make your day I don’t know what does. Oh, and poor Sam is given a sort of chastity belt to monitor his, eh, powerful weapon. The US government takes care of its investments! They also rig it with explosives should he try to run away. Along for the ride is a female government scientist, who makes sure Hell gets the job done. She is trained in the art of arousing and walks around in a white coat with her hair up and huge glasses. Incredibly enough Sam, and we, discovers that when she lets down her hair, loses the glasses and decides on a more exposing outfit that this is one hot babe! Yes, we like hot babes in our fun little movie. Again it makes me wonder just how many movies there are out there where an incredibly attractive woman is being held back by a couple of hairpins and a pair of glasses. Not Another Teen Movie riffs on this with great success. The soldier in the party is the ever so deadly and ever so sexy Centinella. Together they go on a great adventure.

A scientist trained in the art of arousal. It's the new kind of scientist. 

Hell Comes to Frogtown is a perfect example of creativity and can-do attitude overcoming budgetary restraints. I doubt you expect something very epic from the title, but the makers really make the most out of what they have and it looks great. A minor move they make is to wait with showing us the mutant frogs and there is a whole little variety! They go from the more simple looking ones to some quite advanced ones. The villain frog has a seriously great looking mask! Where on Earth do they make such art today?

Another excellent moment in Hell Comes to Frogtown. 

One of Hell Comes to Frogtown’s biggest strengths is it awareness and acceptance of what it is. This is a raunchy b-movie. That is why we get nudity, profanity and violence (though fairly tame). It’s actually quite tastefully done though. For my money they could have taken it further, but I’m not complaining. Acceptance of this leaves the creators to go out and have more fun with it, taking us along for the journey. I mean where else can you see a giant, chainsaw wielding mutant frog say: “I gotta tell you, you are one weird dude.” That is QUALITY film making in my book! There are minor details such as the “No condoms” sign, I found pretty funny and backwards. Remember, humanity is your responsibility!

Hell Comes to Frogtown is a great little treat for fans of 80s movies. It never takes itself seriously and keeps things moving along at a comfortable pace. I was never bored. Recommended!

7.5/10

By the way, the UK region 2 DVD has a great commentary with director Donald G. Jackson and writer Randall Frakes. It’s inspiring listening for anyone interested in 80s b-movies or wanna-be filmmakers.