Creature (1985)

Creature (1985)

Decent Alien clone…

Dimwits Ted and Howard work for a major corporation. They are also astronauts. Howard the astronaut has a nice ring to it. We meet them on Saturn’s largest moon, Titan (fact!) . They are out checking the lay of the land, bickering lovingly; “Howard, will you stop being stupid?” Unfortunately, Howard is unable to comply with Ted’s request, which proves fatal upon finding “ARGH!” Enter opening credits. Now rival corporations NTI (USA) and Richter Dynamics (West Germany) are racing towards Titan to acquire this new discovery. Whatever it is…

No prizes for guessing what they find. That’s okay. A movie doesn’t always have to be original to be entertaining. We follow the exploits of the American research crew. They are a jolly bunch of characters, who likes to question things: “If we’re on a research mission, why do we have to have a security officer? Just in case. In case of what? I don’t know. I never been there.” Case fucking closed! Creature has a lot of camp dialogue working to its benefit. I never cease to smile whenever someone says something dumb and still act normal. To their credit at least one of them seem to have a grasp on irony; “That’s all we need. Another mystery!” Good man!

Ready or not, here I come! 

The movie lulled me into thinking this would be another scare free, yet lovably funny piece of filmmaking set in space. Early on there is a sex scene free of nudity. This had me baffled. Wasn’t this a 80s creature feature, whose main selling points are naughty graphic scenes? Was director William Malone really going for the less-is-more approach? Yes and no. We are treated to some nudity later on, which fortunately can be justified here, that is vital to the rest of the movie. Well, not really, but it makes for a cool scene. Later on their (female) security officer, Bryce, is surprised by the only surviving German researcher, Hans Rudy Hofner. He’s a horny one, which fits well with said actor, Klaus Kinski. “I see you like guns. What else do you like?” She does not answer. I’m guessing the only reason Richter Dynamics is a West-German corporation is due to the fact that they managed to hook and reel in Kinski, but by all means. It is totally and utterly fine by me. He seems more than happy to contribute to our little space adventure. As the movie progresses the creature kills off more and more crew members. Will they all fall victim to it, or is there hope?

Creature, while entertaining, drags a bit for the first 50 minutes before picking up the pace. When it finally does there are actually a few moments of suspense. Not to mention some pleasingly nasty make-up effects. Besides, I can never dismiss a movie featuring a head explosion. They are always FUN! The creature design looks decent, but is obviously ripped off H.R. Giger’s superior Alien. Not really surprising though. I would also like to praise the wonderful spaceship model. Those 70s and 80s spaceships still look great and I’ll take them over CGI any day. Again, there is nothing new and original about Creature, but it’s worth a watch for anyone with a sense of irony and love for 80s horror.

6/10